Top 10 Rules for Surviving a Horror Film

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1 — Don’t Have Sex

As seen in: Halloween, It Follows, Friday the 13th, Cabin Fever, Cabin in the Woods, Last House on the Left, Species, American Psycho, Teeth, It Follows, Cemetery Man, American Psycho, Alien: Covenant

2— Be a White Woman

As seen in: Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Midsommar, The Cabin in the Woods, Alien, The Shining, The Invisible Man

3 — Don’t Travel

As seen in: Cannibal Holocaust, The Green Inferno, Midsommar, Wicker Man, Hostel, Train to Busan, Evil Dead, As Above / So Below, Wolf Creek

4— Avoid Gas Stations

As seen in: Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Body Bags, The Hills Have Eyes, Deliverance, The Cabin In the Woods, The Blackburn Asylum

5-Join the Enemy

As seen in Midsommar, The Witch, Hostel 2, The Others, 

6- Don’t Have Sex

7— Injure Your Hand

As seen in: Green Room, Ready Or Not, Hostel, Saw, World War Z, Evil Dead 2, 

8— Burn Your Video Camera

As seen in: Cannibal Holocaust, Blair Witch Project, As Above / So Below, Creep, Cloverfield

9 — Don’t Be a Teenager

As seen in: Friday the 13th, Last House on the Left, Halloween, Final Destination, Don't Breathe, Sleepaway Camp

10— Don’t split up

As seen in: The Thing, The Cabin in the Woods, Friday the 13th, He Knows You're Alone, Scream, The Human Centipede, Carriers, Dawn of the Dead, Return to House on Haunted Hill, One Missed Call, Day of the Dead, Leprechaun 4: In Space, The Burning 

11 — (Bonus Tip) Don’t Have Sex

A queer, herbivorous, leftist Viking. I write about society, justice, and popular media. UChicago grad. Based in Iceland.

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